mish-mash

Our door dresser serves as a storage unit for gadget cables, hats/gloves/scarves, and girlie-hair stuff. The back third of the top is where we keep our bibles, glasses, cameras, and cell phones.

The front portion is supposed to be reserved for collecting items as we are preparing to leave the house or storage for people when they are visiting. However, family being family, it sometimes gets used as a catch-all on our way from one room of the house to another.

I came down one afternoon and glanced at the door dresser. I had just been putting some clean laundry away and wasn't thrilled to see more stuff to be put away. Then I sheepishly realized that most of it was my stuff anyway. (Thankfully I noticed before I bellowed at the kids.)

Then I was struck by the absolute bizarre combination. There was the People Magazine Scott had brought home. We do not live far from the Gosselin family of Jon & Kate Plus 8 fame & are frequently contrasted with their family when we are out and about in the community. Scott said he just had to read the cover article and brought it home for me to look at. We were both concerned at the portrayal of a family as "in need" living in their very, very, very nice home.

Then there was the cardboard box from Elyas's recent order of Tom's Shoes. We are so impressed with the company's dedication to helping others. Tom's motto is One for One, meaning that for every pair of shoes you purchase, they will give a pair of shoes to a child needing shoes in countries such as Haiti, Argentina, and Africa. We can't afford to purchase Tom's for all of the kids, but the Shoes for Elyas were the same price as the Robeez we usually buy and far less than the Stride Rites. And, as we have worked hard to become more deliberate in our decisions and use of money, we feel Tom's is a good fit when we can do it.

Then there was the book I had grabbed off the New Arrivals rack at the library, Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein. I thought it would mostly be the woman power, stick it to 'em,  hippie-feminista nonsense I have come to expect whenever I read something designed to educate me on the mine-field of life my daughters are wading through. However, the title intrigued me and so I planned to skim it and return it a few days later. Instead, I found myself engrossed and mesmerized as I read through thoughts on the "girl culture" that we largely avoid due to homeschooling. Shelby, Isabelle, Scott, & I had many discussions centered around each chapter as I read parts aloud and we discussed it together.

And, of course, there was my standard morning cup of coffee which I am forever losing. I take it with me all over the house for most of the morning and it isn't unusual for me to call out, "Has anyone seen my coffee? I've lost it again!" The kids love it because for all the things I remember (both the important and the mundane), they don't understand how I can loose a mug filled with coffee several times a day, day after day. It really is ridiculous.

There it all was in one place - the miss-mash of my interests assembled before my very eyes. It was like looking at a representation of my brain. I could see for just a moment the contradictions of my Physics and English Literature majors: the gossip magazine, the philanthropic shoes, the culture wars book, and my caffeine addiction all rolled into one.

Which then lead me to look at the children a little differently all day. I found myself wondering if I pigeon hole them without intent, expecting each one to follow a set path based on what I think should relate to their likes and dislikes. It lead to a lot of conversations over the next several days: Why would you do it that way? Why do you like this and not that? What do you think about  . . . ?

It is much easier to presume we know someone based on stereotypes than to take the time to investigate further. I learned a lot about my kids during those chats, and they in turn learned a lot about themselves and each other. It was, in all actuality, very cool.

Now, the challenge is to remember.

halloween humor

Before I post our costumes for the year, I thought I should take a moment and share some stories from our night.

Elyas, who actually remembered the whole Trick-or-Treating process from last year, spent most of his time with Scott. We would take turn accompanying them up to the door in order to absorb some of the more charming Halloween moments. Elyas really enjoyed just looking at everything on everyone's porches. The candy seemed to be an afterthought, although a happy one.

At one home, Elyas was given a list of candies to choose from. He held up one finger, did a no-no-no motion, and stated: "M&Ms. Please." The homeowner said that he didn't have M&Ms. Elyas looked him in the eye and said, "No thank you. I'm finished." And then he walked back down the stairs. At another, the owner's had done a great job of creating a very creepy home and were all dressed up on their porch to add to the drama. Elyas, though, wasn't a fan and finally asked Scott to take him away. As Scott carried him down the driveway, Elyas announced in his singsongy way, "That was a creeper!"

We were surprised at the mild weather given the 9" of snow which had fallen just two days before. It was a nice surprise though, as it meant we were able to stay out much longer than anticipated and we could really enjoy the lights and decorations once it became dark. And the darker it became, the more families were joining us on the street. Towards the end of our loop of the neighborhood, we were all commenting on the overwhelming Dick-and-Jane feeling to the night.

At one home, several children joined ours on the stairs to someone's home. As the first of the costumed kids began to make their way back to the sidewalk, my dad grabbed one. As the kids struggled, my dad held tighter and began to say things like, "I'll never let you go. No matter how you struggle." I looked over and realized that the kids my dad had grabbed was not one of ours. Thankfully, everyone was laughing as the released prisoner ran off to join his friends.

It was a great night, with lots of fun and laughter. It was nice to have Nana and Papaw along with us after several years of their traveling during the Halloween season. I managed quite well on my crutches and all total we hauled in over 60 pounds of candy.

Our annual candy breakfast was a smashing success, accompanied this year by a reading of the cauldron scene from Macbeth. And then, the kids all moved seamlessly into their daily routines accompanied by some friends who had come to spend the day with us.

It was a lot of fun. And now, without further delay, the snaps:

all 8 in their finery

Shelby as Amelia Earhart
She had toyed with being a surfer,
but the snow put an end to that notion.
As it was, this costume had the most positive reaction
of any she has ever worn!

Dawson as Dylan Haigh
A family friend whom Dawson admires.

Isabelle as a Ranger's Apprentice.
Based on the series of books by John Flanagan, this is the first year Isabelle branched away from admiring Shelby's ideas and simply came up with her own costume. The result was something she felt a great deal of pride in.

Tucker as Legolas.
His original intention was to be a Moria Orc, but when Aunt Jenna told him she had found a Legolas  costume, his eyes lit up and he changed his mind immediately.

Keats as Mario and Aidan as Luigi
When we made these costumes last year, it was with the hope that they boys would want to wear them again this year. Success!

Abigail as a Wood Fairy
Abigail was the Wood Fairy last year as well. She loved the costume so much  that she would check on it as it hung in Daddy's closet all year. This costume was lovingly made by Aunt Jenna 11 years ago in order for Shelby to wear it at the age of 4.

Elyas as Buzz Lightyear
This costume is a hand-me-down from the twins beloved Buzz and Woody days.

The haul
Weight total? 68.5 pounds.

end of an era

We received our first iMac with the 1998 release of the colorful g3 computers. For weeks, the youth group would come to our house for Youth Group Monday and just want to play with the computer. Our home computer had always been a Mac, but now we were completely sold. The simplicity of the all-in-one machine was just what this family was looking for.

Alas, as time always does to electronics, our lime green iMac's era in our home has ended. It is still in great working condition, but it just can't keep up with today's software. And so, as our new iMac is being tweaked and our now-for-school eMac is being is being stripped down, we are prepping our greenie for shipment to the Apple recycling facility in California.

It was a good, long run.

missing mom

Just a quick view of what happens when mom can't walk and the soccer game temperature is 41 and rainy. While we spread most of the family responsibilities out amongst us all, laundry is still pretty much my job. None of the kids had ever seen the laundry room piled in the manner, so when it happened on October 2, they had to take pictures!

slown down

When I broke my foot on Sept. 26, I really thought it was some sort of untimely joke arranged by God Himself. We were in the midst of soccer practice & games, full blown school, prepping for a piano adjudication & youth rally (both on the upcoming Saturday), and Scott already committed to work an extra 24 hours on a floor that absolutely needed him. Not to mention we have Halloween just a month away and at least two costumes which need making, including purchasing supplies. And there was that pesky sewing machine that gave out as I put the final stitches in the Alice costume last year which I still hadn't taken in to be repaired. In my mind, there was simply no time for me to have a broken foot.

As the orthopedist began to wrap my foot and give me directions, I felt my hopes rise. No cast, so surely I can drive and move around. Perhaps this won't be quite as bad as previously envisioned.

Alas, it was going to be exactly as bad as we had envisioned. I was expected to sit with my foot propped for most of the next 10 - 14 days. I was not to even consider driving for a minimum of three weeks. I was to use crutches for a minimum of 3 weeks, and wean off them gradually, using pain and swelling as my guide. And I should be grateful to the comparatively minor injury I sustained, given that most people who put the amount of stress onto their tendon I did end up in surgery with 6 months of recovery due to a shredded muscle. That I should be really impressed with the health and strength of my body.

Are you kidding me???

And so, we began to work things around my foot. The boys were all willing to give up soccer, but we had four different families call and offer rides to and from practice and games to make certain the boys could continue. A dear friend took Isabelle shopping for her costume supplies and another offered to continue the girls' sewing lessons by using the cape for her Ranger's Apprentice costume as the project. And to top it off, my machine was picked up, delivered to the repair shop, and then returned home, all while I lounged on the couch with my foot propped on pillows.

As other families were leaving for the store, they called to get our lists and would swing groceries and supplies by our home before they went on to their own. We had a family who went on our weekly Sam's run for us and, as if that weren't enough, they would bring us lunch and dinner for the day. Another family went to the farm for our weekly raw-milk run, making sure we never ran out of milk for those growing bones.

We were amazed at the sheer volume of support and love which threatened to overwhelm us. Every errand was done, every need was met, and it was all done with smiles and cheerfulness. All of the extra activities and events we had planned months before were still attended, with over a dozen people making certain that each Little Rutherford was delivered and returned.

And as I sat about on my couch throne, I was treated to visit after visit with dear friends and family. What a delight it was to just be able to talk and talk and talk! And for once, it really didn't matter that there were 14 kids in the house playing with every possible toy, lego, sword, nerf gun and train set because I couldn't do much about it anyway.

Over four weeks later, I am finally starting to move a little more freely. A few well-aimed, yet completely unintentional, crashes directly onto my fractured fifth metatarsal extended my healing time by a solid ten days. And we have all decided it is much better to be in a  family where everyone is able to participate in the daily goings-on. We all feel tremendously blessed to have such a large number of people who love us enough to help our family continue to run smoothly no matter what it took.

But mostly, I am grateful to Scott & the children. Scott, who would work a 16 hour stint at the hospital, stop by the grocery store to get more eggs & bread, and still come home cheerful, ready to visit briefly with everyone before going upstairs to get some well-earned rest. The kids really pulled together to accomplish just about everything within the home while also managing to keep up with their schooling, largely done around the couch. It wasn't always easy and during that first week we learned of some major gaps in our parenting. (Insert here: we had no idea just how much I was picking up on a daily basis or how poorly I was following through with requests to accomplish tasks. That was quite the shocker!)

So at the end of this particular challenge, I now feel confident in saying that it wasn't God's idea of a joke. Rather, it was God's providing an opportunity for us to learn so many, many things. We discovered major chinks in our family which, now that they are corrected, have helped us become a more cheerful and productive team. I have a new appreciation for the man I married and the quiet strength which he uses as he goes about the task of being the husband/dad/son/brother/friend/employee that he is. I see again the value in tuning out the fun the kids are having in order to focus on a dear friend. And I am utterly thankful for all the families who are a part of our daily lives.

We knew we are blessed. We just didn't realize just how much.

where does it go?

I don't think I'm alone in experiencing this phenomenon. The whole time is fleeting conundrum has been around since forever. But I am caught off guard by it anew today.

I signed onto our blog for the first time in weeks and glanced at the family pictures. There we all are: happy, tanned, and grinning in the midst of our summer fun. Which makes it even more ironic that today I seriously debated turning on the heater for the first time. (We didn't. I just told everyone to put on a second layer.)

Where did the days and weeks go? As we did school today and I helped with word problems and verb conjugations, studied caverns and mapped Ohio, explained binary compounds and listened to piano practice and readings, the time seemed to go so slowly. It didn't drag and it certainly wasn't boring. (Unless you count the three loads of laundry. They were relatively boring.) Yet I know that I'll blink and it will be Saturday.

I often find myself wondering if time will always move so quickly. And then I try to make a conscious effort to pay better attention to the people and the sights around me. Occasionally I wish I had taken time to enjoy our gardens this year, as we'll move in the spring before they bloom again. And yet, if I missed the gardens in order to spend more time with the family, is it really such a loss?

What exactly is time? Is it just the ticking of one second into the next combined into groups to make a minute which marches on into hours, days, and weeks? Or is it something more fluid? Is time an investment which gives us moments to make a lasting change which will, in a sense, stop time?

As I read through John & Abigail Adams book of letters I am struck again by the lasting impact their lives had on our country and myself. I admire their courage, their unity, and their Yankee gumption and I am forever grateful that they chose to save so much of what they wrote. It seems that they found a way to slow time down, if not stop it completely, in their letters.

This week, we received a copy of a recipe from Scott's Great-Great-Grandmother which was measured by hand and cooked on a woodstove in a double batch to ensure there was an entire pan for the dogs. Has her time really ended if I am still cooking her recipe and teaching my children about the days before electricity and supermarket dog food?

Tonight, I feel like time isn't so much a foe to be beaten back before wrinkles, gray hair, and an empty nest overtake me. Instead, it is a series of moments during which I have endless choices of how to spend it. It is my quiet encourager reminding me that I do not have forever and that I have to chose carefully and thoughtfully.

Of course, the day-to-day goings and comings will still occur. I will get up in the morning and take the children to piano after their breakfast. And we'll continue to read, conjugate, and figure.

But I'll also work a little bit harder to find those impressionable moments and grasp on tight. To set the laundry down long enough to look into a little one's shining eyes while they tell of an adventure or to give a shoulder to a teenager who is struggling to find a way to explain how they are feeling. To laugh and smile and visit more.

Because that is what they will remember. They'll remember the eyes and the hugs and the laughter, not the conjugations. And in their memory, we'll be happy.

And, perhaps, time will be forever. 

poor fit

We started our crazy schedule back on June 20. You know, the normal summer swim team/dive team/Camp Manatawny/summer-schooling nonsense that takes over Rutherford-dom for the better part of eight weeks. We really have a lot of fun when we're in the midst of it, but to be perfectly honest, we just sort of drop off the face of the earth as far as everyone around us in concerned. We literally disappear only to reappear mid-August at which point we resume our normal schedule.

This year, though, we decided to give soccer a try. We have always had reservations about the kids participating in team sports because of the time commitment. Swimming is a good family fit because the kids all enjoy it, they practice at the same time in the morning, they compete at the same meets, it's only six weeks long, and we still have most of our evenings free. It is a good balance. However, our experience with Little League wasn't great and during Scott's time as a youth minister we watched dozens of families over the years explain away frequent absences because of sports.

Don't get me wrong - sports are like anything else and they have their positives and negatives. But having eight kids means schedules can very quickly become clogged if you don't choose very carefully where to invest your time both individually and as a family.

So, after completing Keats and Aidan's season and being only three weekends away from the completion of Dawson's & Tucker's seasons, we have our verdict. For our family, most team sports are definitely back out. With four boys on three teams, we literally had 7-day a week soccer. And while there were some fun moments, overall we had to acknowledge that we just miss one another.

I knew for certain it wasn't working when Dawson looked at me this weekend and asked, "How much longer until we can read books together again at night?" And Shelby, who happened to overhear him as she was walking by chimed in with a mighty "Hear! Hear!"

Just this morning Tucker asked if anyone had practice tonight. After I told him no he grinned and immediately declared today a jammie day.

I know there are families who thrive on the hither and yon practices and games. But we are willing to admit that we are not that family. We are more the go for a walk/run before we clean the library grounds together and come home to a crock pot full of soup after which we'll shower and then play board games and finish off the evening with a great book type family.

And so, we will finish out this season with a better grasp on what is important to each of us both individually and as a family. And in the week that follows the final game, I will carefully clean the barely used cleats, shin guards, uniforms, and cups for listing on eBay and Craigslist. Well, maybe not the cups.

Maybe.